Common Ground

Relationships exist because of shared similarities. If you like sports, you will probably surround yourself with people who also follow them. If you like running, you will find people who like running. The same can be said for any topic or hobby: music, technology, food and cooking, travel, medicine, profession, your religion, etc. Similarities bring people from individuals into communities, these communities form cities, and these cities form countries. Similarities breed the social structure that has set up boundaries across every border. In today’s society, it is the push to always be right that leads to the most problems. It is the abandonment of finding common ground, of finding similarities that leads to all of the outrage we see. The best deals or compromises come when there is no clear winner—when both sides win. These deals are based on finding common ground.

Common ground is easy to find with the people you already have relationships with. You most likely have relationships with them already because of the similarities you share with them. These similarities stand out and cause you to continue the relationship. But these similarities do not mean you have the same exact opinions as them. When you disagree with someone you currently and actively have a relationship with, you are more likely to agree to disagree. You are more likely to move on with the disagreement and still maintain the relationship. You are able to revert back to the common ground you already share. A difference in opinion in one matter is not a deal breaker because you have similarities to fall back to.

Now take this same ideology and apply it to random people. These people can be random people online, on television, or people you run into in public. The point is you do not actively know these people. You just know they have an opinion that you do not agree with. What is your first move? Do get offended and “hate” this person because of their opinion? The sad reality is a lot of people do. A lot of people cannot stand other people having different opinions than they do.

Stop becoming immediately offended when people do not share every opinion you do. It is completely normal for people to disagree. You do not have to change your mind and you do not need to change their mind. If you quit focusing on the disagreements there are surely agreements and similarities you could find if you looked. Relationships base themselves upon similarities. Remember that. If you care to interact with someone in a positive way, focus on the common ground, not the disagreements.