The Duality of Memories

Memories are a core piece of the human experience. The ability to recall what has happened, what was felt, and who was around creates our sense of identity as we push forward. Memories are important because they are the foundations of many relationships. Memories are important because they are the seeds of countless conversations. Memories are important because they help us learn. Memories are important because they show us what we could have done differently. Memories are important because they help us see what can change in the future. Memories and how we view them help shape us into who we are today.

I know very little about the science behind memories. I do not know how they work but I do know how they make me feel. I have early childhood memories of fishing with my Papa, of playing baseball with my Grandpa, of learning to ride my bike with my parents. I recall the emotions and feelings I felt during the best times of my life. I have numerous fond memories I look back on as bits and pieces of my life, having molded me into who I am today.

At the same time, I have shameful memories, days, or events in my life that I would go back and change in a heartbeat. It is weird to me how the human brain works because oftentimes, the “negative” memories are the memories that stand out the most. I remember specific moments and think about “what if” I had done them differently. The “what ifs” caused by bad memories are strong points of contact for us to make choices to act differently in the future.

Everyone has good and bad memories of their lives. Everyone experiences events and scenarios both on the good and bad side of the spectrum. No one is perfect, life happens. I believe having the capacity to recall both the good and the bad times is what makes us human. We need the bad memories to appreciate the good times more. We need the bad memories to learn and grow from in the future. The good memories give us release when times are tough. The good memories provide a goal of what feelings or experiences we want to return to.

Memories are one of the most unique and individual parts of being you. People can have shared memories but no one can feel exactly how you felt in that moment. Memories are a part of specifically you and specifically what makes you into the person you are today. No one can feel the specific feeling of joy, excitement, or love you had when you ___ and no one can feel your feeling of regret, sorrow, or shame when you ___. Fill in the blanks. Your memories, both good and bad, are what make you, you.