Excuses

Excuses are a part of our society. It seems for everything we do not do, we immediately come up with a reason for why we did not do it. I group excuses into the same category as feedback. They are both tools which can be used to learn from. Excuses are not as black and white as feedback because they are mostly personal. I find myself unwrapping the excuses I use in order to get to the root issue whereas with feedback, it is more direct. In a certain way, feedback can be what others think of you while excuses can be what you think of yourself.

Excuses are typically used as a crutch. These crutches can then easily become habits for how we choose to live our lives.

“Oh I was sore yesterday, I couldn’t run.”

“You only beat me in basketball because I was not trying.”

“I didn’t get a good grade on my test because I did not study hard.”

I have found real perspective changes over the last couple of months with how I view and use excuses. I have come to realize the excuses I use are simply a reflection of myself. Other people may believe them at face value but I am the only person who has to live with my excuses. When I go home and look at myself in the mirror, what looks back? Am I proud of the excuses I gave or do they motivate me to change? I am not proud of the excuses I give and they push me to be better.

I have tried making conscious efforts in my life to not hide behind excuses. I slept in today longer than I wanted to. I did not run or go to the gym this morning. The easy excuse to give is I was tired or I went to bed a little later than normal. The real reason is I was not driven this morning, I was lazy. I let myself fall from where I want to be. Understanding the underlying reasoning behind my excuses has made me much better at responding to life’s circumstances.

In breaking down my excuses I have also made conscious efforts to acknowledge when I am making an excuse. I believe our society lives in denial with how frequently we use excuses. Using excuses to place blame elsewhere and avoid personal accountability is a social norm. I have found that by recognizing when I am making an excuse, I can respond differently in the future. Simply pausing to acknowledge I am using an excuse helps me hold myself more accountable for my actions. The blame is no longer on anything or anyone other than myself.

It is difficult to accept this mindset with excuses because of how ingrained into society they are as a pattern of behavior. Excuses take the personal accountability out of an event and place the blame elsewhere, they make it easier. By realizing what excuses are and taking a more conscious approach to when you use them, I believe you will begin to see differences in your actions and outlooks on life.