How to Measure Success

Humans are a competitive species because of their ability to think abstractly. Instead of only having survival-based thoughts such as where to eat, sleep, and mate, humans can think about the emotionally complex realities of life. The realities of what an individual’s life has amounted to and what the lives of others have done. When viewing your success there are two distinct approaches you can take but there is only one approach that leads to a fulfilled life.

The first approach is to measure your success against your peers. When you take a test, you care more about how you did compared to others. If your friend received a higher grade than you, you will be jealous. This sort of comparison will bleed into the other parts of your life. When your friend gets a new job offer that pays more than your current opportunity, you will feel jealous of them. By measuring your success against others you end up unhappy when other people win. You will be filled with jealousy and will have to force a smile of support when people next to you succeed. This path of jealousy and comparison isn’t healthy for relationships and isn’t sustainable for living a fulfilled life. Whenever someone else wins, you will feel less than them.

The other approach is to measure your success against yourself. When you take a test, you care more about the effort you gave and the result you earned, than how others performed. If your friend received a higher grade than you, but you tried your best and are happy with how you performed, you can share joy instead of jealousy. When your friend gets a new job offer that pays more than your current opportunity, you can be supremely happy for them while recognizing you are where you are supposed to be in your career journey. There will be no need to force smiles when congratulating others because you aren’t in competition with them. You’re in a competition with yourself, and through this internal competition, you will grow and evolve. By removing the need to constantly compare yourself and measure your success to your peers you allow yourself to be filled with joy when those around you also win.

“Winning” is not winning if the only person who can win is you. “Winning” is winning when everyone around you is congratulated and supported when events go right in their lives. Quit detracting when someone around you wins and opt to offer support. By sharing in their wins, when your wins come they will have the same meaning in their eyes. Measure success against yourself but share the joy and blessings of success.