I want to Feel Happy

Positive emotions are sought after. Given the choice between happiness and sadness, everyone would choose to be happy. Given the choice between joyful and fearful, who would choose fear? People want to live “happy” lives. People want to experience “happy” moments. When asked what you want to be doing in five years a common answer is to simply say “happy.” The desire for happiness has a flaw.

The flaw in desiring happiness is happiness can be cheated. Happiness can be faked and found in cheap and easy ways. The chase for happiness can cause you to cut corners not only in the pursuit of this emotion but also in your life. If you chase happiness you are more likely to scroll social media than open the book you are reading. If you chase happiness you are more likely to finish the bag of chips than eat a handful of fruit. If you chase happiness you are more likely to down the bottle of alcohol instead of going to sleep early and waking up refreshed. Chasing happiness is sound in the idea, but in practice can lead to many cut corners. Chasing happiness is not how you lead a happy life. It may feel that way in the moment, but too many sources of dopamine are low-hanging fruits with no effort required. Cheap happiness is not real happiness. Cheap happiness is easy happiness. Cheap happiness is the path we may slip into when we only desire the “happy” emotion.

Instead of wanting to feel happy strive for rewarding feelings such as being proud or accomplished. If you are chasing these emotions, you are more likely to get things done. If you seek to be proud of yourself, you will shut your devices off in favor of the book on your couch. If you seek to be proud of yourself, you will turn down the bag of chips in favor of the handful of fruit. Feeling proud is not possible without effort. There is no shortcut to attaining the feeling of “proud.” You must work, you must do, you must accomplish. There is no parallel to the cheap “happiness” you can easily find. When you chase and desire to feel proud, you will be forced to obtain. You will be forced to work. You will be forced to create something you are proud of.

In chasing the “proud” emotion you feel rewarded. You have gratification and an inherent reason that supports the emotion you feel. A byproduct of feeling proud is also feeling happy. When you are proud, you feel accomplished and you will feel real happiness. By chasing personal feelings of self-worth, happiness falls into your lap. Don’t just say you want to be happy, say you want to be proud.