Listen More

I do not talk a lot. People know me as being reserved, stoic, and quiet. I can sit in silence for hours. On long car rides, I enjoy the silence. I do enjoy conversation, I just do not need to be the main contributor. I listen. I enjoy walking into a room and knowing I am not the smartest one there. I enjoy talking to people older than me, smarter than me, more experienced than me, or with whatever extra qualification than I have. These conversations to me are the most stimulating ones and offer me the greatest level of personal growth. In these cases, the best thing I can do is ask questions and listen.

Listening more is a skill I believe everyone can benefit from. Listening is hard. In arguments, how often do you cut the other person off before they finish their thought? I do it, everyone does it. It takes a different level of focus to sit calmly and listen to what the opposing party has to say. In other conversations, how fun is it to be the center of attention? With everyone laughing at the stories you tell, it can be enticing to keep your mouth moving. I encourage you to take the opposite approach. Slip off to the side, close your mouth and listen.

Listening enables relationships to be healthier. Listening to those around you helps you realize what they are truly feeling. Listening is the selfless thing to do because the easy thing to do is speak. Through listening you are taking the spotlight off your own life and placing it on those you care about. Taking a deliberate approach to listening helps reinforce to others that you care about them. Listening is a meaningful action because it is lending your attention to someone else’s life.

Listening is also a fundamental requirement for learning more. One of my favorite conceptual ideas is, “He who talks most, knows the least.” Understanding this idea helped me realize the importance of listening. It also helped me shift my feelings of embarrassment to enjoyment when I find myself in situations where I am not the smartest. I enjoy these moments because I recognize them as opportunities to learn. However, the learning is only done if I am not the one speaking the most. If I enter these situations and talk the most, I am essentially handcuffing myself to the knowledge, wisdom, and ideas I already had. See the truth in the quote above? It takes personal feelings of acceptance to realize the situations you are in, close your mouth, and open your ears.

I have had the fortunate experience over the last couple of weeks to engage in conversation with many new people. People who have various different life stories, experiences, and wisdom than I do. I have walked away from every conversation knowing that I have taken away something from them. The ideas, thoughts, and knowledge I gained only came from the tool of listening. Listen more, talk less.