Perspective on Comparison

Me vs Me is more than just a cheesy saying. Me vs me is the healthiest form of comparison. Comparing ourselves to where we were before shows an unbiased perspective of how far we have come. In previously discussing the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” it is important to go one level deeper to explain perspective on comparing ourselves to our peers on a frequent basis.

There are exceptions to relying on me vs me comparisons. Comparing ourselves to our “idols” or people we want to become is normally a positive form of comparison. These people give us aim to shoot for. They give us a reason to grind each and every day. In this sort of comparison, it is easier to feel less critical of ourselves because we are reaching for a goal that seems so far out of reach. Every step towards progress is taken at face value because we are chipping away at what we want to become. We are reaching for our superheroes who can seemingly do no wrong.

The opposite is true when we compare ourselves to our peers, to our friends, to those we have relationships with around us. This sort of comparison, when done in the same way as to our idols or self-comparison strips away at our mental image of ourselves. We find reasons to be hyper-critical of our own abilities. Instead of feeling motivated to do more, we can find ourselves questioning if we are good enough. We find ourselves wondering how someone we know can be doing so well, how they can be achieving so much. Instead of using them as success metrics to reach, we use those we know as sources of jealousy and reason to doubt and question ourselves.

Comparisons to those in our social circles blind us to the fact that they are their own people with their own lives. There is a fallacy with these sorts of comparisons because we know the people personally. We think because we know them on a personal level their success is more than simply their success. We think their success shows they are better than who we are and what we can do at a fundamental level. In comparison to our idols or ourselves, using those in our social circles as a basis for comparison can lead to far more damage than good. That being said, there are ways to switch the perspective we use with these sorts of comparisons to turn the potential damage into reason to push forward.

See the difference? Their success is not due to our personal ability or lack thereof. We are now able to use these comparisons to properly aid our pursuits. Instead of using the success of those in our social circles as reasons to detract from our own abilities, we should choose to take their successes for what they are: successes. From a black-and-white perspective, we are able to effectively compare and figure out ways to personally improve without harming our mental images. This perspective flip helps make sure we compare in constructive ways, not destructive, no matter who we compare with.