Relationship Longevity

I am not here to give marriage or relationship advice but I know enough to say that they are not always sunshine and rainbows. I know if you only expect the good times, when the bad times come, your relationship may crumble. Life has the good and life has the highest of highs. Life also has the bad and with it, the lowest of the lows. Life flows from good to bad in a cycle. Only expecting the easy and happy path is leading a life of blissful ignorance. It is irresponsible to yourself, and those you have relationships with, to believe you will never have to conquer challenges together. Life is the most real thing that exists. This realness will force you to overcome in order to keep relationships going.

This idea began with a sentence about marriage. I have recently celebrated my grandparents’ 60th anniversary and my parents’ 30th anniversary. Monumental accomplishments in themselves but from a time perspective, they offer decades of companionship to learn from. Decades of conversation, experiences, and togetherness have led to the family structure I personally experience. Decades of experience that has shaped me into the person I am today.

Without these examples of commitment and unity, my life would be very different. I can admire what my parents and grandparents have done while acknowledging their accomplishments did not come easy. A total of 90-plus years of companionship between the two relationships is a lifetime of time. Think of the friends you had 5 years ago compared to the friends you have today. How different are they? Now add either 25 years or 55 years to reach the length of time my parents and grandparents have been knotted together by the vow of marriage. It is a long, long time. A long enough time that I struggle to conceptualize.

This idea is not only to celebrate these relationships. It is to showcase the idea that if you want your relationships to last you will need to weather the storms that life presents you. Tough times happen. Financially, personally, with kids, with your faith—life can throw anything at you. The “honeymoon” period of any relationship is not a permanent feature. If you only like the person you are with during the “good” times, the bad times will send you scurrying away. Relationships with significant others, with life partners, with friends, and with anyone you care to spend your time with, will be a challenge to sustain. They all take commitment on both ends to keep going. Time and the challenges life provides are the main obstacles standing between you and the relationships you want to maintain. If you are not willing to handle the bad times with someone, your relationship will not survive to see the good that life brings. If you accept both ends of the spectrum of life, your relationships will be much better. When there is good, bad is right around the corner. When there is bad, good is peaking out from behind the clouds.