Saying No is a Yes for Your Life

A two-letter word is sometimes the hardest word to say. The ability to say no is a learned skill that must be utilized in order to give individual power back to your life. Possessing “no” in your vocabulary does not make you a bad person. We do not have the time to cater to every event, activity, favor, assignment, or extra commitment people may ask of us. The ability to say no helps us prioritize what is important to us and gives us an individual vote that we are putting our time first.

The idea of saying no is not to say no to everything. It is not to become selfish and only do things for yourself while turning down every opportunity to help others. It is actually the opposite. Saying no to things actually frees up more time for both individual pursuits and our ability to be of service to others. Instead of trying to please everyone, we are able to give our efforts in a more concentrated way as opposed to giving fractions of our time and ability to multiple pieces. Good still emerges from our ability to say no.

We do not need to go out to every dinner nor we do not need to go out to a bar every weekend. We do not need to make time for every meeting nor do we need to set aside 45 minutes for that phone call. Focusing is about saying no, not about saying yes. We can say no and set boundaries for our lives. These boundaries are how our priorities are protected. Without them, we run the risk of overcommitting and being lost in a maze of favors, tasks, and events taking us away from what we want or need to do.

Saying no is difficult. In our social lives, we can feel left out or be called lame for choosing not to go out and party. In our careers, when we deal with superiors or those older than us, it is very hard to turn down additional tasks or responsibilities. We want to go above and beyond to prove ourselves and show we are capable. We want to show we can do. By learning to say no, a chemical reaction occurs where we grow to realize that just because we can do does not mean we need to or have to. We should not feel indebted to those around us at the expense of our own priorities. With boundaries established, there is often more respect given to someone who is honest about their time and has the ability to say no, as opposed to simply saying yes and adding to the pile of tasks. Saying no in this way is not the lazy thing to do, it is the respectable thing to do for ourselves. By saying no, we are really saying yes.