The Sum of Who You Are

Everyone has a perception and idea of who they are as individuals. This is natural because as an individual, you are who knows yourself best. The reality that you are the only person inside your mind means that you are the only person who sees the exact perspective you see of yourself. It is helpful to use the opinions of others to understand better how those around you perceive you. The opinions of others should not dictate your life. They should not be your only reason for living. But they can be used to better understand the sum of who you are as a person and can be used to make changes in your life or continue running down the path you are already on. Without hearing what other people think of you, you are stuck with only your perception and mind. You can think you act in one way, with a specific set of characteristics but your opinion could be skewed. Branching out to learn from the minds of others is a positive way to find a sense of truth in who you are as a person.

If you took the time to ask a different person to describe you from every year in your life you would uncover an interesting truth. This exercise would yield the sum of who you are as a person— the truth of who you are based on years of action and interactions. Taking out the outliers such as your parents who would be too nice in their description, or a “hater,” someone who has a bias against you, everyone else would fall into a pattern of describing the positive characteristics and skills you have and also explaining your shortcomings.

Believing the idea that people change, this exercise would inherently show ideas that no longer represent who you are. If someone knew you as a promising musician when you were a teenager and you quit playing in your twenties, that characteristic is no longer a current descriptor. This descriptor is still important because it’s a part of your life journey. However, the most telling ideas these people could share when describing you are the characteristics or skills that are repeated from person to person, or from year to year. With every repeat indication, the picture of who you are as an individual is getting reinforced. If you were described as an arrogant person by multiple people in your life but you never considered yourself to be arrogant, you may be arrogant. If multiple people describe you as thoughtful and compassionate, you come off as an individual who is genuine and has the best interests of others in mind.

The equation describing the sum of who you are is missing variables when it lacks the opinions of others and fails to look at your whole life. It’s through viewing your life in a chronological timeline via the minds and eyes of others that you can see the picture you have painted of yourself. Without the variables of time and the opinions of others, any self-descriptor you may have is incomplete. The sum of who you are isn’t a story told by only the individual. It’s also told through the mouth of others over the entirety of your life.