The Beauty of Being a Big Brother

Continuing yesterday’s topic of My Struggles as a Big Brother, today looks at the more positive side, the beauty of this relationship. My experience as a big brother is different than most because of an 8.5-year age gap between myself and my younger brothers. My hope is in reading from my experience, you can then reflect on your own relationships with your siblings and count the blessings you have.

Nearly all the struggles I mentioned yesterday were “little things” and were perceptions of my reality or how I viewed the thoughts and actions of my little brothers. My perception, nothing more, nothing less. The interesting thing about perception is it changes from time to time, from person to person. That is why my perceived “struggle” may not be apparent to my little brothers. On the other hand, laughter, joy, and lifelong memories are more or less facts rooted in shared experiences. You know what the people around you are feeling when you are involved in one of these moments. As a big brother, these moments are what persists, and what shows the beauty of sibling relationships.

It was easy to list out my struggles yesterday because they are finite. I can put together thoughts and create a concrete list of the “negative” side of things. That list is then complete. It is a static list where unless something drastically changes, it will remain as is. The beauty is much harder to compile because it is infinite. Every day, a new experience could occur, a joke could be said, an accomplishment witnessed that could be added to the list of positivity. The beauty is all around and almost constant.

The beauty is convincing your brother to jump into frigid water in Alaska with you. The beauty is having conversations together that wouldn’t be had with parents. The beauty is passing your experiences and ideas down to people who care. The beauty is winning a game of Warzone all together in the same room. The beauty is sneaking to play an hour more of video games without parents knowing. The beauty is showing them Superbad, This is the End, The Hangover, Jackass, and countless others for the first time. The beauty is seeing them laugh harder than they ever have before when watching those movies. The beauty is not having to hold back anymore when playing sports. The beauty is realizing either they got faster, or you got slower as you run next to them. The beauty is all of us making fun of one brother one day, and the other the next. The beauty is laughing at each other. The beauty is hearing about their experiences in school and life. The beauty is knowing they care. The beauty is realizing how similar they are to you. The beauty is seeing they can be better than you are. The beauty is seeing them grow up to become who they are.

The struggles are a very small part, the beauty is all around. As a big brother, the best I can do is take a step back and appreciate how lucky I am.

It has been one week of writing and I am very appreciative of everyone who has reached out with feedback. As I continue on this journey, please do not hesitate to send over topic ideas, share stories, or provide your thoughts and opinions. Thank you!